January 16, 2011

Aku tak pandai berbahasa puaka.


Pada suatu hari, somewhere in the land of the Internet, specifically daerah Facebook, seorang makhluk Allah terperanjat monyet cute kerana ditegur-sapa oleh seorang makhluk Allah yang lain dengan cara sebegini -

Quote: n***!!!aq mncik do cmni,ad mbr lmer tgu lmer glew x aprv2 gk aq,sdh weh ko cmni ngn aq.ko xigt aq ke.ke aq slh org ni.sal gmb ko laki.aq de tye mbr2 lmer sal ko p xde mnde sume lst cntct.ko pkba???

*urut-urut dahi sikit, tarik nafas*

Aku kan, bukannya zalim sangat most of the times. Tapi, kalau engkau kenal aku, engkau tahu statement tersebut dusta semata-mata. OK fine, aku consider diri sendiri boleh tahan mahirlah bab-bab jaga hati orang ni, kadang-kadang. Tapi kalau ada satu perkara lain selepas crappy grammar yang aku memang cannot stand, inilah bendanya - ejaan SMS Puaka Sakit Jiwa Terlepas Dari Wad Gila Dalam Neraka semacam contoh yang aku bagi di atas.

Kau tak cukup jari nak menaip? Atau kau beli PC secara hutang maka keyboard kau dapat sekerat dan ada dua tiga biji key saja? Atau kau memang kudung tangan maka kau menaip dengan dagu? Atau engkau kaya macam nak mati pagi esok jadi engkau guna Facebook berbayar satu huruf tertaip sepuluh ringgit mak bapak engkau kena tanggung - sebab tu engkau bercakap bahasa puaka serupa itu dengan aku?

Aku tak kisah pun sebenarnya spelling singkat macam baju pelakon-pelakon perempuan Melayu naik pentas ambil anugerah, aku still boleh faham kot. Aku pun guna short form untuk reply komen di blog. Tapi kalau ejaan engkau dah macam bikini F*sha S*ndha yang cuba menunjukkan envy, aku rasa aku memang patut buat protes. Sebagaimana aku tak faham what statement of jealousy is being made through the mindless display of her body in a bikini, macam tu jugaklah aku tak faham ejaan psiko miskin huruf yang engkau guna.

Atas sebab itu maka aku pun tulis reply yang selayaknya saja -

Quote: Aku tak faham apa kau tulis. Bye.

Lepas tu aku logout.

Sebab ejaan SMS Puaka Sakit Jiwa Terlepas Dari Wad Gila Dalam Neraka semacam contoh yang aku bagi di atas is memang a major turn off for me.

Now.


Does it piss you off the way it does me?

55 scribbleback (s):

Mr. Gargus said...

Umm....Okay, I tried using the translator on my web browser (I have Google Chrome). Google translator is a joke. Don't waste your time with it.

Ayaq said...

Hahaha memang sakit jiwa tulisan macam tu. I mean, for me the time to write like that takes longer than writing in full sentence. Ironically. Heh. Dah besar, tulis le penuh2. Awak tu bukan teeny bopper dah nak tulis camtu. Ish3.

Iblis said...

"Bahasa jiwa bangsa."

Di makna bahasa itu sendiri yang mencerminkan perwatakan bangsa yang menuturkannya. Tetapi dalam kes kamu, aku sendiri tidak tahu, adakah mereka itu bangsa manusia, bangsa beruk, bangsa ungka, atau bangsa lotong.

Luke Skywalker said...

Rasanya orang itu dari suku kaum batak. Sebab itu bahasanya hancur. ^_^

cafiena said...

Oh oh, yeay, ada geng.

Saya selalu complain apabila dibagi sms macam tu, take time nak paham, dan selalu saya kena kutuk balik sebab tak cukup up-to-date dengan ejaan sms.

hurm.

blum tambah lagi dgn huruf kecik besar kecik kecik besar.

terima kasih sebab bagi nama ejaan ni, saya suka!

Luke Skywalker said...

Hmm..'aku' boleh jadi 'aq'?? kah kah kah. Jika sebut betul2 jadi apa?

Farahanani Amhazali said...

huh..

ada kah dia ni your age sis??

coz she sounds like a terrible student who failed BM paper in UPSR.

hoho..

Luke Skywalker said...

Ni bukan failed student. Ni student yang advance! Advance yang melampau sampaikan bahasa yang mudah dalam dunia disusahkan. ^_^

Farahanani Amhazali said...

Ngeh.

So sorry for her.

Sis, sekolah kan balik budak itu.

Bukan buat org marah je. Rasa geli geleman pn ada..

Ngahahaha

n0n0i♥a'n'l said...

Noi ada lepak satu forum ni, ada le member forum ni taip dekat discussion board guna ayat puaka macam ni... @_@

come on lah......... taip betul2 takleh ke? pffftttt!

Noi pon reply lebih kurang gini
"Saya tak faham. Memang failed lah nak baca banyak sangat shortform mcm ni"

Ada pakcik tu lagi best dia reply "BODOH!" je.. hakhak..

Leh plak orang tu jawab..
"Kalau tak faham senyap2 dah le..ramai je yg faham!"

Whatever lah!

Meluat betul!

Luke Skywalker said...

Ayat macam tu hanya orang bodoh je tau. ^_^

Jiyuu said...

Ugh. Yes, one of my pet peeves as well. I can see it as a trend among teenagers (regardless, my teenage brother and sister got the full-blown unrestrained power of my sarcasm when I found out they spelled 'skunk niew' instead of 'sekarang ni') but when grown-up supposedly matured adults use that language I have to suppress comments along the lines of "Dah lupa camana nk mengeja? Tolonglah balik tadika. Takpe, aku bayar. Aku sanggup."

Al Betsy said...

Likewise here.
cam haram ejaan begitu. mmg plg benci melampau.

ble dpt sms haram gini, slalu rase cam, 'aku ke yg x up-to-date nih?'. Mmg sms yg mmbuat org rs bodoh. Jd rase mcm nk sandwich muka beliau dgn tapak kaki.


thanx 4 this entry.

;)

Nani Othman said...

jacob - it's a big joke. 'nuff sed.

ayaq - tau takpe. that's why i wouldn't even bother TRYING to read it.

iblis - scary betul nama awak pilih ni. hoh. sebenarnya nani rasa mereka ni semua tidak berbangsa, sebab itu macam tu cara mereka mengeja.

Nani Othman said...

cafiena - tulisan kecik besar kecik besar tu sangatlah mencari nahas. oh kalau saya yang dapat sms serupa itu memang siaplah tukang hantar tu.

luke - sebut betul-betul memang buruk betul bunyinye.

farahanani - patut suruh balik belajar mengeja kat tadika je kalau macam ni.

luke - advanced? in their dreams je la.

farahanani - takde maselah nak sekolahkan balik orang yang sengaja buat diri sendiri nampak bengap. buang duit je ade.

Nani Othman said...

noi - bagitau kat die, 'kalau tak faham mana boleh senyaplah pandai! malu bertanya sesat jalan. ko tak sekolah ke?' meluat gila.

luke - kite orang pandai pun tahu jugak bace. tapi kite tak gunakan. sebab kite pandai. XD

jiyuu - ahaha, i love the aku sanggup bayar ko balik tadika part! truly. XD jeez man seriously these people just piss me off all the time. but i still think it's a good thing that they're not SPEAKING the way they spell it or i would have happily become a murderer.

al betsy - bukan kita yang tak up to date. this kinds of sick spelling shouldn't be included in any date. sakit jiwa. you're welcome.

Terra Shield said...

After scrutinising it for a bit, I could finally read it... I might get a headache after this!

Al-Saachez said...

most of people who befriended me and type like that will always end up being sack from the friend list. one or few times might be forgiveable, but if most of the status you see are written in that form, your eyes will start to get screwed and you will spit out some vulgar form of words while trying to understand what these aliens are trying to convey. eventually you get fed up and sack those peeps from your friend list hoping this act can save your eyesight from such horrified writing form.

true story. hahaha

Nani Othman said...

terra - i won't be surprised. the headache, i mean.

aamir - woot. yay for frens-sacking!! lol. you could actually sprain your sight just by reading those. pft. annoying betul! but i haven't sacked any of mine, tho. i'm practising 'what i don't see won't hurt me'..so i pretty much just hide whatever i don't wanna look at. hehe.

sigmazetaz said...

haha tak boleh elak dari kata setuju! tak faham kenapa mereka suka menggunakan q dan w, mungkin bimbang huruf tersebut pupus. haha. ;p
suka blog u dan followed terus!

Nani Othman said...

sigmazetaz - hi. welcome to naniscribbles! =) ah yes that's one way to look at it. mereka bimbang huruf tersebut tak ada orang guna dan mungkin akan kena ban. thus the stupid spelling system.

thanks for following!

Breakeven said...

~ nice entry..memang benci la..lagi satu yg type jenis ada W kat belakang...geli aaa...
"awak buat apew? dah makan kew? sihat kew? :
isk...bodoh..!

ibu said...

0rang yang mengada2 yg leh buat msg mcm tu...meluat akak...

ButirStar said...

ketidakboleh belahan punya ayat beb. haha! sangat2 puaka!

kalau dibandingkan dengan saka jentayu yang ada kat tv3 tu, long rasa long sanggup je tgk dari melihat bahasa SMS puaka.

students long selalu je bg SMS camni lepas tu long x balas. bila depa tanya, long kata "i'm a Malay and from Earth. I don't understand Martian"

anak pak man said...

Yes it does.. and the questions posed are very good.. bila ditanya kepada orang2 yg tulis shortform habis-habisan ni mesti respons mreka "hah?" ngan mulut nganga dan muka yang tak dapat nak cerna apa yang ditanya itu.. haha

Jiyuu said...

Nani, I have met people who speak like that. *ominous clouds billowing in background*

Faisal Admar said...

When I replied them with sarcasm, the reply I got from them are:

1. I'm using iPhone and it's hard to type.

2. Time is precious and I try to save.

3. SMS is not cheaper when you have many things to tell.

Weird thing is, I'm using iPhone and type the whole sentence with correct spelling, I don't SMS if I don't have time and will reply when I'm free unless it's urgent (that does not means I'm procrastinating!) and if you want to save, do not SMS!

Easy. Fuh!

Ayaq said...

Kak Nani, about the books that you want yang sampai sanggup mengahwini sesapa yg mencari tu, tadi saya cari, sold out lah. But it's cheap! RM14 only???

Fai Zakaria said...

Tadi nak komen tapi lepas baca note kat atas tetiba terpana sekejap... Hmmm. Sgt best! Sgt suka nota kaki anda seperti yang tertera di atas. *kudos*

Ok, back to your topic - Yes! Sgt menyampah kalau dapat that kind of sms or komen or apa aje la. 1st - cuz my brain took longer time to digest and understand them. 2nd - my brain recognize images better than spelling. So, that explain why I need that missing letters. *gosh* So, biasanya, tak layan la message macam ni.

Another thing yg I sgt tak suka ialah penggunaan perkataan 'Dowh', Uolls dll lagi. OMG! Tersangatlah menyampahnya! *haih*

Nani Othman said...

kak breakeven - ha. memang benci dengan ejaan W kat hujung tu. grow uplah. why do you have to write like an idiot in the first place?

ibu - hai kak. haha. mengada2. betul tu. saya pun meluat jugak. XD

long - ha reply macam tu pun ok jugak. ngeh, saka jentayu tu nani tengok iklan pun tak teringin nak amik tau. yek.

anak pak man - teruknya, you should have taken their pictures. i'd love to see the mulut nganga.

Nani Othman said...

jiyuu - omg. that's scary. i never thought them words were even pronounceable. DX

faisal admar - LIKES you comment. haha.

ayaq - i'll try to find some other ways. i'd die. thanks for asking around. you're cool.

fai zakaria - thanks for liking the note. it was written out of a failed anger management. hehe.

about the things you menyampah, we're in the same boat. lol. i pun benci juga penggunaan perkataan2 yang pelik2 macam tu. haha.

popcolours said...

saya suke apa yg awak tulis tu. kalo your writing tu dlm fb, dah lama like seribu kali, tp xleh like 1000x pon :p

saya pon kadang2 pening kepala bace msg2 org yg suke tulis tlebih pendek sgt ni. makcik2 saya pon terkena tempias msg pendek bebenor ni. plg saya xpaham mcm mana aku boleh jadi aq????

niena:) said...

mmg payah sgt kn nak bace comment2 camtu hehe

lagi2 style huruf besar kecil, jarak2 sikit, jarak banyak, titik2 jarak2.. haha saya pn dah pening dah hehe senang cite, ni example:

-->aQ taQ tAw larH . . . adE kOwT ? . . <--

haha pening x? pening kn hehe :D

Nani Othman said...

popcolours - hi there, thanks for liking it. XD and thanks for saying you'd like it 1000 times! i pun tak faham macam mana aku boleh jadi aq. it's so weird! haha.

niena - hehe. lol. style huruf campur2 tu lagi menyampah kan? tah pape pulak tu ejaannye!

Nurfatehah said...

yes it does annoy me so much too! like me, lagi prefer tulis in full sentences in sms or in anything walaupun actually it takes longer time to write, janji kepala tak pening nak baca. :

kalau kat fb, (usually younger cousins who happened to be my friends in my fb) mmg semua kena hide, sebab kalo terbaca status diorang yang menulis mcm tu, asyik nak menyumpah2 je sebab menyampah. :P

nuruljamal said...

mase kat skolah dulu taknak belajar sungguh2, dh besar konon hebat. pegi mampus! buat hati terbakar je bila bace ayat dorg ni! adoi adoi.

Nani Othman said...

nurfatehah - ahaha, would you show your cousins my blog post then? at least you save yourself from being hated. they'd be pissed at me, someone they don't know. hehe.

nuruljamal - haha, sabar sabar. XD daripada kite yang terbakar baik kite bakar diorg!

i am nobody said...

bahasa yang pelik pelik memang boleh buat sakit jiwa.haha

Nani Othman said...

i am nobody - LIKES your comment. haha.

liona said...

saya suka la entry ni. kawan saya pun ada jugak guna bahasa puaka ni. dah tegur tapi dia buat tak endah je. lama2 naik menyampah jugak dgn dia. hairan la diorang ni semua dtg dari mana hah?

Nadidot Kim said...

And I've listed you in my Funny Overload lists! :D Your blog are just too awesomeeeee <3

Nani Othman said...

liona - hello. thanks for liking this! =) sometimes i woner too, where these people come from. it's as if they had never been to school!

nadidot kim - thanks! haha. appreciate that. <3

Qayyum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Qayyum said...

Okay setuju seratus peratus. Even sekarang mereka yg type bahasa puaka ni tau ada video seperti inianwarhadi dan cik nani sendiri, diorang still buat benda bodoh ni. Konon cool sgt kejadah kan

btw blog anda sangat berinspirasi dan ditujukan terus kepada sesiapa mereka yg terkena tempiasnya. oleh itu, ive fallen in love w your blog already ;)

Nani Othman said...

qayyum - hehe. thanks for agreeing. we're best friends for life! and thanks..for thinking that naniscribbles is inspirational..and thanks for falling in love with it. XD

Anonymous said...

kelam la ko nani..go die in hell bitch..yawn~ tak puas hati?jomla jumpa..dasar bodoh..senang2 je nak kutuk2 org..padahal,cakap tak serupa bikin,ikut cara islam la..mcm ni ke org islam?sigh~

Anonymous said...

baru lepas abis baca blog kau. otak agak singkat juga la. tak boleh ke nak tegur orang cara elok2. cara islam ke yang kau gunakan tu?

Nani Othman said...

anon - la. aku suruh ko pergi mati kan? bukan suruh ko komen. lain yg disuruh, lain yang dibuat. lepas tu ada hati pulak nak kata org bodoh. next time get your facts straight; people cannot die in hell. benda yang ko suruh aku buat tu tak berasas. pft. loser gila.

but thanks for reading my blog sampai habis. i appreciate it. =)

fuukitsu kimura said...

Scientifically, dah terbukti manusianye mata cume baca huruf 1st n last n huruf2 penting dlm setiap perkataan dalam pembacaan. Ni namanya eye scanning.

Oleh itu, utk mereka yg gemar short form, ni bukan suatu masalah.

Namun, utk penggunaan short form yg melampau dan terkeluar terus dari perkataan asal perkataan tersebut, contohnye, aku --> aq
lama --> lmew.
Obviously, menyukarkan eye scanning utk si pembaca. 2 baris ayat terpaksa dihabiskan 2minit utk memahami.

Bagi saya, mereka yg mengunakan bahasa puaka ni bukanlah mereka yg bodoh n tidak tahu bbahasa, mereka sbnarnya masyarakat yg tidak bertimbang rasa n bajet "comel" apabila penggunaan 'ew' digunakan utk menggantikan 'a' dihujung perkataan..

haishh...
wsalam. haha~

fuukitsu kimura said...

ohh lupa pula nak include:

org yg bajet comel sebenarnya tak comel, maka mereka terpaksa membajetkan kecomelan mereka yg tak seberapa tersebut.

p/s: conclusion: bahasa puaka = melambangkan peribadi yg tak bertimbang rasa n tak comel langsung.

haha...

Nani Othman said...

kamila,
thanks for the comment. yes, it's true. in tesl it's called decoding. not eye scanning. we don't read. we decode. so basically memang jarang di antara kita akan ada masalah dengan short forms. jadi saya dengan automatik bersetuju yang pengguna-pengguna bahasa puaka ni jelasnya tak bertimbang rasa plus bajet. haha.

and yes, orang yang bajet cute memang sebenarnya tak cute. kalau dah cute tak payah bajet.

Eisya Aizul said...

salam kak nani! [can i call u that? pls pls pls!]

ni serius blog yang paling macho eisya penah jumpe. and the author is a female! *standing ovation*

i really2 like all your posts, tp eisya tak sempat nak komen lagi. bace pun x habis lagi sebenarnye tp dalam 7-8 post yg eisya dah bace ni, must say u are my fav author!

for this post, eisya pun sbenarnye tak favor la orang mengeja macam ni. menyakitkan mata dan hati je bace. stakat shortform tu standard la, eisya pun buat. tapi bile dorang eja pelik-pelik cam ni, mmg eisya tak suke.

tapi satu yang eisya tak faham, knp dgn si anon yang maki2 kat bawah tu? nak cakap 'tegur secara islam' dah guna perkataan 'bitch' pulak. cakap tak serupa bikin tu dia la sebenarnye.

kalau tak suke, cakap elok2 tak boleh ke.

anyway, kak nani. nnt2 eisya dtg lagi. i am officially ur fan!

eisya aizul

Nani Othman said...

eisya aizul,
amboi..fictitious nya nama kamu ni. haha. takpa2. we all have our reasons. thanks for the standing ovation. and thank you for making me your fav author. i feel honored. hehe.

anyway about the anon, kalau tak suka patutnya tak payah cakap. dah suruh dah pegi mati. tu dia tak baca nota la tu.

come again. XD

farinaluvnature said...

pe nk jd...hehehe

Nani Othman said...

farinaluvnature,
i have no idea. hehe.

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