November 23, 2015

Without faith.



























No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, 
as I would not want to live in a world without magic, 
for that is a world without mystery,
and that is a world without faith. 

— R. Salvatore

September 21, 2015

That choice.





I finished cleaning up my FB friends list. I feel a lot better. I even blocked some people out of boredom. I guess as you grow older, you grow lesser and lesser tolerance towards nonsense, and you just become more selective of the people you wish to keep in your life. I've made some minor choices today. I might make major ones tomorrow. But I'll make sure I make those choices for my own happiness. Because like so many other things in life, happiness is a choice anyone can make depending on how much you actually want to make that choice. I don't think - at this particular point in my life - I've ever wanted anything as much as I want this. So.

September 19, 2015

To my beloved form 3 students, *UPDATED*

Here's a little token of love from your English teachers,



Question 1
In the novel The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit, there are many characters of different personalities. Based on your reading, write about your favourite character in not less than 100 words. Provide reasons as to why you like that character and support your reasons with textual evidence.

Question 2
In the novel The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit, there are many lessons to be learnt. In your opinion, what is the most important lesson taught in the novel? Write your response in not less than 100 words. Provide textual references as support to your answer.

Question 3
The novel The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit has portrayed several characters who had gone through hardships. Choose one of these characters and write about how he or she overcomes life challenges throughout the story. Write your answer in not less than 100 words. Provide textual references to support your response.

* * *

Children, you have the entire Raya Haji break to work on these 3 questions. You may submit your responses to your class English teacher, or if you'd like to save the world by saving paper - you can also submit your answers here; in the comment section below. If you have any questions (on how to answer these or anything related to English - grammar, syntax, etc.), don't be shy to drop a few lines there, too. I will respond to ALL questions in order to help you get ready for your PT3.  And don't forget to introduce yourself just so I'll know who I'm writing back to. So, all the best! 


Lots of love,
Teacher Nani, Teacher Hannah and Sir Azha


September 8, 2015

Facebook, Dissertation and The Fault in Our Stars

Facebook has been rather annoying lately so I kind of stayed away from the feed. But I still have to log in for work - Master Trainers, NUTMEG and some other stuff (sometimes I wish people at work would learn how to Tumblr so I don't have to deal with the side-garbage of Facebook but that is beside the point), so it's still very annoying. Thus I have unfriended some really bitter people - people who hate on others for being happy, people who hate on politicians because their friends do, school teachers who hate school work, school teachers who write horrid things about their students, people who are generally driven by hate and anger for no apparent reason - what the hell are they even doing on social media? Too much negativity that I don't need. Too much idiocy to scroll by. Waste of time.

* * *

Dissertation is still annoying. What with school work and other stuff to do, what with meetings and the implementation of the new teaching-learning cycle - I just couldn't find the time to work out the chapters. Truth is I couldn't find the time to work out anything. Once in a while I keep asking myself if I'm ever gonna make it. Funny thing is my friends keep telling me I will. How and where they manage to find the courage to believe in something so overwhelming, I need to find out, because I couldn't bring myself to even visualize the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a terribly long way, the tunnel. What's even more terrible though, is the fact that I don't even care anymore. It's like, hey I'm lost but yeah OK.

* * *




People who tell me John Green's The Fault in Our Stars is a very, very good book are by far the most annoying. I'm never gonna pick up any other title from whoever if ever they would suggest some in the future. I've read TFIOS some time ago, out of curiosity - because everyone everywhere was talking about it. Three excruciatingly long hours were spent (regrettably) on a highly overrated book. Damn. You can't tell me I'm wrong - I'm entitled to my opinion and this is MY blog so I'm gonna say hey, your recommendation sucked. I don't hate the book - it's a fairly safe book. Nothing controversial, nothing morally and intellectually challenging, two white teenagers in love and one of them died, so yeah. It just doesn't live up to the hype. I knew Augustus was gonna die the moment Hazel said she was gonna tell their story - so when he told her he lit up like a Christmas tree, I rolled my eyes in frustration. Cheese factory. It was like John Green was screaming at me in caps that HAZEL IS THE SICK ONE SO SHE'S GONNA DIE, NOT AUGUSTUS DESPITE HIS ACTING STRANGE AND MAKING IT SO OBVIOUS THAT HE IS KEEPING SECRETS - I mean come on. Was there really anyone who did not see that coming? You must have been reading the wrong books. Your bookshelf definitely needs a makeover. Give me a call. I'll help you with that.

Some other things about the book that rubbed me the wrong way throughout the entire read include how the characters' dialogues were purple. I can deal with purple prose written in love letters, or mental notes, or if the setting of the story is a century back but not like in TFIOS; where it's the 21st century and Augustus the ex-basketballer if I remember right - despite not showing even the slightest inclination towards poetry or literature - spews crap like, "My thoughts are stars that cannot be fathomed into constellations" in freaking everyday conversations, where the main characters decide on 'OK' as their 'always', and where even cancer is romanticized. Purple prose does not work in this setting. It's just wrong. It's out of place.

What disturbs me more however, is the ridiculously irresponsible parents Hazel has - her mother literally places her life in the hands of another teenager to go on an adventure in a place, an entirely different continent where they don't even speak the language there - no sane parents would do that, nope. Not with the daughter constantly needing oxygen supply and dying at the same time. Not with the boyfriend dying, too. And where were Augustus' parents? Seriously. He lit up like a Christmas tree, remember? Don't tell me they aren't informed of it and even so! His cancer is terminal. He really was dying! How did the hospital decide on letting these two teenagers go on their own? Are the doctors out of their minds?

And of course, how their cancer is only used when it's convenient to the flow of the plot - in the beginning of the story, the pages reeked with cancer and inevitable death but as the story progresses nothing much about cancer was brought into the narration. Heck, the cancer didn't even make an appearance during their sexual intercourse when it was narrated earlier (or later, can't remember) that Hazel couldn't even make it up a staircase without losing her breaths - I mean, think about it. That's a pretty dick move out of many by John Green if you ask me.

There are many other things that I would love to rant on - the overly dramatic and severely rushed nature of Hazel and Augustus' relationship (they took one month and it's certified true love), medical realism being disregarded throughout the story (you can't have cancer and be a teenager and go on an adventure with a boyfriend who is also dying of cancer without an accompanying nurse, no!), and the on-and-off continuity of their medical complications (you're 16 and you can't even function without an oxygen tank and you had sex without breaking a sweat, right?) but I really have to re-work my research proposal so I'll stop now. Man. 

I know some John Green fangirls are gonna tell me I'm wrong and that if the book is bad, why is it so successful? Easy, it has the same formula as Twilight - a teenage girl who doesn't see herself as hot but lives in a world where everyone likes her and thinks she is hot, a teenage boy who happens to be the hottest thing in the universe of the story falls in love with the said teenage girl and no conflict exists between the characters except ones that are convenient to the storyline - very safe formula, very easy to pull, thus the success. Also, personally and very judgmentally, I think it's immensely popular among younger readers for the pompous, grandiose quotes that make them feel intelligent, or deep or maybe even philosophical (See: ...love is just a shout out into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor is returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have.) But really, if we're talking themes and symbolism or maybe prose and motifs; they exist in very, very basic forms in the book. Which is why it's a painfully frustrating read, for me. At times it even felt hypocritical and disrespectful (cancer jokes, kissing in freaking Anne Frank's attic and getting an applause - I'm not even joking).

So yeah, no more titles from this man. And you, if you're one of those people who think TFIOS is somewhere near excellent or great, I will have some problems with you if you're to offer me some book recommendations. So we'll just leave it here. We'll stay reader and blogger. It's safer that way. Heh.

Stay safe. Stay inspired. Later.


June 4, 2015

Ratchet niqabis. You read that right.

What up everyone, it's been 84 years so I'm back. Just a few days ago I noticed that a certain married couple was all over Facebook due their so-called envy-inducing photos being shared by a certain someone I'm not gonna name. It was everywhere on the damn site because the wife is a niqabi and the pictures were displays of affection that most niqabis don't normally make public. 

So it was a hot mess - what with people being keyboard warriors; attacking and defending the couple, attacking and defending other niqabis and insulting some really irrelevant people as they go along - and certain people almost got into trouble because some other niqabi thought it'd be best to inform everyone that she has a connection with the Bukit Aman police force and that if people fuck with them niqabis, they're gonna fuck those people up in return. Really now, so many of us need to calm down. How about you try and comprehend the fact that the couple technically fucked up their asses on their own for uploading the pictures? And then we can bring Bukit Aman into the argument - if you still think it's necessary. It's insane how easily things get out of control on Facebook. Morons and mad people everywhere!

You Facebook addicts could already know what the whole mess was about. If you don't then worry not, you'll come across another mess that's equally brain damaging, soon. Just wait for a few days - it's Malaysia. Stupid issues are bound to explode all over Facebook every flipping week. That's a promise.

Now that mess I just summarized is the trigger of this post. I don't know how long this is gonna be considering the sad fact that I haven't been blogging for centuries so bear with me if you can. Not forcing anything onto anyone. It's just another rage post.

The thing about some niqabis is that they don't know the most basic thing about being Muslimahs and they somehow think that the terrible things they do are forgivable just because their faces are covered. I've had some really unpleasant encounters with basic niqabis - yes, I used the word basic, be thankful that I didn't use the word ratchet because that's literally just how some of them are like most of the times. 

Once, when I was still working my ass off getting a degree, I've had a classmate who was a niqabi and boy she had to make our other classmates who weren't hijab-clad feel really bad about themselves - OK I'm not defending girls who don't cover up, obviously it's wrong but do you have to attack them every single time? No message is sent across by attacking them in public. If you really want them to change, do it privately and kindly and if that doesn't work, don't degrade them. It only sends them farther from the teaching of Islam. 

People like her makes Islam look unforgiving, difficult, harsh and hate-driven. And people like her - you, if you are one - need to remember that you can act all high and mighty right now because you pray more than us, you recite the Quran more often than us, but one day you're gonna mess with the wrong person and you'll get hell. Sure enough, one tragic day, she and her group of basic niqabis decided to mess with a Bumiputera Christian girl (they thought she was a non-hijabi Muslim) who eventually questioned their faith and how they carry the image of Islam - excessive eye make-up with layers of false lashes despite claiming to not have desire for attention by donning the niqab, and forcing Islam onto random people just because no one's gonna find out who they are. That became the talk of the faculty for weeks! Pretty messy, huh?

I've also encountered basic niqabis at supermarkets jumping the lines at the counters. Seriously now people, that's just rude and downright disgusting! You don't have to be a Muslim to know that jumping lines is wrong and disrespectful. You just have to be a human and of course, sane. And just because nobody will ever recognize your face doesn't mean you get to be a bitch - it's embarrassing for the rest of us Muslims because you make all of us look bad! People of other beliefs (I don't blame them) have the understanding that the best of us Muslims often dress like you and when you act all ratchet and uncivilized, ALL of us are seen in the same light! You tell me how is that fair? You tell me how is that OK when the rest of us are struggling to make Islam look good due to the recent events - like how is that OK?

Two more messed up niqabis I've encountered were members of an usrah I used to attend. They'd ask to borrow the other members' cellphones to text a friend, but it turned out that they were actually reading all of the text messages in the said phones to find out if the other members were thirstily texting guys. The freaking hell? First of all, that's a fucking breach of privacy, a fucking breach of trust - to hell with your sisters kerana Allah SWT tagline because you're a horrible person who has no respect for other people's spaces! Secondly, not all girls text guys because we're thirsty! Why do you have to think that girls who are not you must be lesser than you? Who gave you the right to think like that? Most of us text because there was a need for it, many of us just happen have more guy friends than girl friends - why is that wrong? How is that wrong? And thirdly, how do you expect to reach out to people, to change them for the better when you judge them by their texts? How? 

And I've unfriended a basic niqabi friend because she was being a monster on Facebook, harassing people for uploading really attractive selfies. She went, 'Allahu, berdosa upload gambar macam ni, sis, murah sangat buat tontonan ajnabi! Semoga beroleh hidayah, ukhti fillah.' Another girl she attacked had it worse, 'Ya Allah sis, ana yang berniqab pun dah terasa bahang neraka melihat gambar-gambar begini, tutuplah aurat. Dah jauh sangat dari syurga Allah SWT ni.' Well the thing about her is that she was doing the exact same thing - the only difference was the people she attacked had duck-faces and weren't hijabis while she didn't have a face to be said anything about - everything was covered except her stunningly lined eyes. Seriously now, I can't believe anyone can sink that low. Her selfies were all well-lighted with extra focus on her professional blending skills of eye shadows, fake lashes and her purple-cyan-magenta contact lenses of 10 cm freaking diameter - and you wanna tell people you feel the heat of hell because of how they dress? Get out of here!

It's no surprise that thirsty men whose pathetic rib cages rattled (bergetar tulang rusuk ana, or so they say) everytime they see similar selfies of basic niqabis flocked to her pictures and liked them obsessively. Some even went so far as to ask for her phone number (nak kenal rapat dengan calon zaujah, or so they say) - because their damn ribs won't stop rattling - to which she firmly but hypocritically replied, 'Maaf ya saudara, ana tak boleh layan lelaki ajnabi. Tolong jaga ikhtilat, kita sama-sama da'ie, besar tanggungjawab kepada ummah.' Girl, you need to sit your ass down and let me school you - the fucking nerve! The nerve you had to tell people to 'jaga ikhtilat' like what exactly are you talking about, what ikhtilat is there when your pictures are all over the place demanding likes from the opposite sex regardless of how you dress like how dare you! And you know what, I'm done with people like this. I'm so, so done, which is why I have removed her from my friends list - it was a headache having to deal with her hypocritical posts and hiding them wasn't enough, so yeah. I'm done.

Sigh. That's a long one. I didn't say all niqabis are like this, OK, despite my self-destructive nature - because I know it's not true. I've said it earlier, that only some of them are ratchet enough to piss me off and I know making baseless claims like that doesn't make me better than anybody. But I'm not gonna say the non-niqabis are better, too, because we probably already are, so. *shrugs* Because I don't see the best of us starting fights every chance we get, on every social networking site we frequent. I also don't see us going around condemning people to hell just because they sin differently than us. Really now. 

So what's my point in all this? I'll tell you what my point is. There are Muslims out there who are struggling everyday to become good servants of Allah SWT - a lot of us didn't have it easy, OK? Not all of us have ustazs and ustazahs as parents and not all of us are lucky enough to be sent to schools as amazing as yours where all school leavers graduated as Jannah-dwellers. And you, being over-privileged Muslims, have no right to go around making a mess out of your niqab and twisted Islamic values, degrading people for not dressing the way you do and behaving like apes in public places thus making the entire religion look like a sick joke! We are trying our best here and it's already very hard and being classified in the same group of ratchet people like you is not making it any easier. So really, just because you look like you're better than the rest of us does not make you better than the rest of us - and please stop making everyone else of the same faith look like bad jokes because of you.

This message goes out to all basic niqabis who don't know the first thing about donning a niqab: the next time you feel the urge to tell people that they're going to hell - remember this; manusia masuk syurga kerana rahmat Allah SWT, bukan kerana niqab. Manusia masuk neraka sebab tak dapat rahmat Allah SWT, bukan sebab upload selfie. Re-evaluate your existence for once, do it for God and the rest of the planet. It's already a sick place without people like you.

And peace out.



This girl looks so badass. I need to get the same shades.

March 16, 2015

May the best friend wins.



Find me on Words with Friends Mobile App. And lets play. 
I don't connect to Facebook though, too much drama. 
So yeah if you're playing on mobile, find me:

LastTargaryenDaenerys


Make sure you get the spelling right.

And don't forget to say hi!