My kind of guy.

A tag from Nani. I guess I did learn a few things about myself with this. Everyone who reads this is tagged! But it's OK if you don't wanna do it. Just let me know if you did it. Hehe.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
In my eyes, yes.

2. Smart?
Yes. 

3. Preferred age?
He could be of my age. He could be two or three years younger or older. He should be mature, more importantly.

4. Preferred height?
He should be taller than yours truly. *coff* I'm, well, 154 cm short.

5. How about sense of humor?
I'm funny. I need someone with Fang's sense of humour at least.

6. How about piercings?
No. Way.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
Nope. I think he should at least have the decency to tell me what I could do to become a better person. I doubt that I'd find a guy I would completely be OK with at our first meeting, and I'd definitely tell him to his face (nicely) if he's not right at the second or third, so I'd expect the same from him. Nobody's perfect, and I don't think anyone on earth is named Nobody.

8. Pink hair?
Oh please.

9. Mushy or no?
Look, I'm all Max to the last inch of my being – so yeah, why not? Hehe.

10. Thin or fat?
I can't really decide. As long as he looks heaven-sent in my eyes, I'd be OK.

11. Black, Brown, Yellow or White (skin color)?
Not a shade fairer than me, please. He should be slightly darker. I don't know why. Haha.

12. Long hair or short hair?
Short. And sane.

13. Plastic or metal?
Flesh.

14. Smells good?
DEFINITELY.

15. Smoker?
NO. WAY.

16. Drinker?
NO. WAY.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Maybe not.

18. Muscular?
In brains and bank accounts, yes. I'm not the lending kind, so he should have his own vault to squeeze. Built, too. Just not excessively, tho.

19. Plays piano?
Not important. But I'm OK if he does.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
See 19.

21. Plays violin?
See 19.

22. Sings very well?
See 19.

23. Vain?
Aha, someone like Suou Tamaki won't hurt. LOL. I could be worst.

24. With glasses?
I don't really mind.

25. With braces?
I'm a teeth person. You should ask my sister. Or Jasmine. So, NO.

26. Shy type?
OK. Not extremely shy, though.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
My only concern is the number of storm-bringers in a relationship. Most people could take only one. I too, could take only one. So, good boy.

28. Active or passive?
Active.

29. Tight or bomb?
I don't understand.

30. Singer or dancer?
Both. But I won't mind if he's neither.

31. Stunner?
In my eyes, yes.

32. Hiphop?
Not really.

33. Earrings?
NO.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-exes-until-you-drop?
I'm OK, as long as they stay away.

35. Dimples?
Great. I don't really mind, tho.

36. Bookworm?
YES. But I'd be cool too, if he isn't. Just as long as he reads at least the newspaper each day.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
I won't say no to this. Just nothing like Ayat-ayat Cinta, please. It could dry up my red pen.

38. Playful?
Yes.

39. Flirt?
No. Never once in my life had I ever seen a flirt who looks like he's functioning on an existing brain everytime he flirts. Yeah. No airheads.

40. Poem writer?
Man, I could never get poetry even if I'm given a thousand years. But OK anyway. As long as he explains them to me. I know. Pathetic.

41. Serious?
Just don’t make it 24/7.

42. Campus crush?
Never had one. Can't really say.

43. Painter?
YES.

44. Religious?
YES.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
As long as no one gets hurt.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
BOTH. Haha.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
DEFINITELY. I'd still be grateful if he speaks only two languages - just excellently, please.

48. Loyal or faithful?
BOTH.

49. Good kisser?
*whistles, looks at the sky*

50. Loves children?
Yes. Because I love kids, too.

Weak students do NOT exist.

One of the best reminders from my mother sounded like this, 'Ajar anak-anak orang sebagaimana kita mahu orang ajar anak kita' – loosely translated to 'You should educate your students the way you want your own kids to be educated.'

So really, I find it very offensive for some teachers to establish the misconception of 'My students are freaking weak, (I'd thank God for the rest of my lives if they'd just pass)' as a FACT. Some smartass you are. Fact, my *ss.

I mean really – I don't know what you've been taught in the years of your degree, but seriously you should be aware that such a thing  – weak students – do NOT exist, if you're actually in a school and holding the fate of a bunch of seventeen-year-olds in your hands.

There is no such thing as weak students. They are just an army of teenagers whose focus in life and university entrance exam is scattered all over Justin Bieber (I hate his front teeth), anime and sleep. They are not weak. They're just a little clueless. Your job: Give them the clue and send them straight to the answer. Not scream to the world how pathetic they are (which of course shows how retarded you are) and whine!

Besides, who do you think you are to pass such judgment and at the same time run amok when people judge how you think? (Thanks for the slip, Rayyan.) Seriously, grow up.

Ish, I just don't get some people.


***

Thanks to Rayyan, too, aku tahu engkau masih datang mencari bahan untuk menghisteriakan diri di NaniScribbles! – some people are SO predictable. Benci tapi rindu. Grossgusting.

Habis engkau lelaki ke, because you used to want her dulu kan?

School had just started. It's a new battle all over again. I'm all armed to the last strand of the hair on my head. We'll make it through. Jom pukul semua soalan sampai tak dapat bangun. Jom dapat A+ ramai-ramai. Teacher Nani takkan give up selagi result sebenar tak keluar. Teacher Nani tak pernah ada mindset keji semacam ini: Kamu lulus pun cukuplah (no matter how weak you are).

Teacher Nani tak pernah pandang mana-mana student pun sebagai hopeless. Kamu semua sangat-sangat boleh dapat A+. The marks can be changed. You just have to change a part of yourself – start prioritizing. Stop Twilighting. A crush on a vapid, moody, sparkling, gay, 107-year-old virgin vampire does not help in your writing. His eyes are too far apart for you to even daydream about. Grow out of the box already.

***

I don't get some teachers who actually have the heart to say something as mindless as this: Student-student kami di sini memang lemah sangat-sangat. Harapan kami cukuplah setakat boleh lulus.

Look at it this way, kalau teachers yang tanggungjawab hakikinya mengubah sebijik F menjadi A (akademik atau sahsiah) pun tidak tahu cara berharap yang betul, how the hell will anything even change? Kalau harapan pun tak sebanyak mana, you people expect teachers semacam ini berusaha banyak mana? True. Pandai my readers. Banyak mana mereka berharap, banyak itulah mereka berusaha. This is one of the bullshits yang I memang tak boleh tolerate. Khianat profesyen, khianat anak didik. Why are you even in the school?

Engkau imagine sendirilah apa nak rasa kalau engkau salah seorang daripada budak-budak yang engkau letakkan harapan lulus sahaja itu. Harap nak menagih tunjuk ajar cikgu, cikgu pulak awal-awal dah give up, siap label engkau loser pulak sebab layak lulus saja. Please-lah wei. Otak ada, guna. Jangan simpan dalam mangkuk tandas.

I'm nowhere near perfection, but if I could give my 1000% for the kids and change a few Es into Bs and the same particular Bs into As, I'd know I'm on the right track. And for starters, I don't bloody hope that any of my kids would simply pass. Because they wish that I would help make their Cs and Ds As, and if I don't do everything in my power so that I could, what does that make me? How would I look in front of God bila dah balik nanti?

I terlalu ambitious? So f*ck off then.

***

A friend on FB tagged me a line which sounded like this, 'I don't do jealousy, not even when my ex is all over the new guy, because my mum said I should let the less fortunate have the toys I don't want.'

Looks like some retard's mum had just had a terrible lesbianic heartbreak, to come up with something like that. I mean seriously, if you're not jealous, don't mention her at all-lah. Itu pun susah? Ke engkau tengah sawan denial sebenarnya ni?

And yeah so you felt like I have insulted your mother. Hey, why did you bring her into the matter in the first place? She couldn't have referred to a girl when she said you should share your toys. No sane mother would, that much I know. So really, matanglah sikit. Ingat bagus ke putar-belit nasihat emak engkau macam itu?

Kalau tak boleh nak matang pun, show some respect-lah. She doesn't want you, then let her go sudah.Tak payah nak buat rujukan kat toys ke apa, bukan engkau pandai sangat Literature pun. Nak insult perempuan guna perkataan toys itu pun engkau tak layak. Emak engkau bukan perempuan? Nenek engkau bukan perempuan? Ex engkau bukan perempuan? Habis engkau lelaki ke - because you used to want her dulu kan?

***

Dan I sangat panas hati dengan a bunch of people yang tak reti nak faham frasa 'Tak mau'. Gilalah dunia ni, benda senang macam itu pun ada lagi yang tak boleh hadam. Kamu sembang guna bahasa planet apa di rumah?

***

Anything pissing anyone lately?