September 9, 2016

Entitlement




Berasa layak kepada ganjaran walaupun usaha tak sepadan atau tiada sezarah usaha pun - definisi entitlement bagi aku secara peribadi. You are free to disagree. But you'll be wrong, at least in my opinion. And it shouldn't bother you. Because it doesn't bother me.

Verbally aku tak menilai siapa-siapa dalam kalangan yang mana-mana tentang tajuk posting hari ini. Tapi mentally aku judge semua yang aku kenal dengan nama - tua dan muda. Bila ditegur kakak-kakak berhati mulia tentang jujur aku yang tak mengenal tempat - aku senyum kesian. Mereka patut bersyukur sebab tak perlu dengar aku menyihir-sumpah dalam hati. Kalau jujur aku yang berlapik budi dan consideration pun mereka sudah mengucap urut dada sambil mention persimpangan hypothetical di mana berbaris 44 orang malaikat, aku tak imaginative nak bayangkan reaksi mereka kalau terdengar benda-benda yang Tuhan belum izinkan aku sebut lagi buat masa ini.

Bila fikir semula, pada banyak masanya manusia memang dikenang for all the things they didn't have the courage to say. At least setakat aku hidup ni, itu yang aku observe kerap terjadi. Aku harap aku tak mati hipokrit macam sesetengah orang. Tapi aku jugak harap aku hidup disayangi walaupun aku malas berbudi-bahasa, terutama bila berurusan dengan manusia lain yang ada masanya celaka macam sepertalian dengan iblis terlaknat. Dunia. Kita tak boleh dapat semua benda. Mungkin sebab tu semua orang nak cari syurga. Kot.

Tentang entitlement - aku rasa mana-mana manusia pun tak seharusnya berasa entitled to rewards for things they don't even achieve. Sebab tu aku tak isi borang BISP, sebab tu jugak aku cuba jatuh sakit supaya aku tak perlu ikut orang-orang yang pergi mencari bahagia yang undeserved di pulau bebas cukai kesukaan Malaysians. That's just not how my parents raise me - menerima pemberian yang tak sepadan dengan usaha. 

Belum ada impian cikgu-cikgu atau anak didik yang tercapai dalam tahun ini. Belum ada anak orang yang melangkah jauh daripada yang terjangka. Belum juga diberi recognition kerana matang meninggalkan peers jauh di belakang. Belum ada yang hidup lama dipuji dan mati tak dikeji. At least dalam tahun ini, belum lagi. Jadi mengapa begitu mudah meminta balasan kepada budi yang hasilnya masih gerhana? That's an irrational sense of entitlement you got there, peeps. Berkerut dahi aku lepas tahu ada orang-orang pelik semacam itu. Tak malu pulak kan guna reward padahal kerja untuk reward tu belum pun selesai. Disgusted tak aku? You bet.

True, semua orang tak sempurna. But that doesn't mean kita kalis nuklear kutukan dan judgement orang lain. Pada aku, it's human enough that we are not perfect, jangan dihinakan lagi keadaan kita dengan hati yang jijik dan perasaan entitled. Aku baru saja call Che'gu Usop. Barangkali jantung beliau terhenti beberapa saat bila dengar suara aku yang dah serupa orc. Demam aku masih convincing nampaknya. Justeru, dalam hati aku LOL lagi. Sebab dia sendiri yang cakap, 'Kalau macam tu, tak payah la pergi.'

*shrugs*

*makan ubat*

Salam.



6 scribbleback (s):

Feilong said...

salam nani!

orang-orang yang macam ni memang nampak dunia je. tak nampak dah apa yang akan berlaku pada depa bila makan duit orang ni. Depa nak seronok je la. Kaklong pun menyampah dengan orang-orang yang macam ni. Kau tak nak keluar duit untuk pergi berseronok. Tak malu nak pakai duit orang lain.

and i feel really disgusted to know those people are educated people (tapi akal tak nak guna!)

Nani Othman said...

salam balik long,
tau takpe. orang lain pun kejar dunia jugak tapi takde la sampai makan duit orang pun tak rasa apa. kalau die sorang tak rasa apa boleh la belah lagi, ni sampai anak bini laki bapak mentua semua pun tumpang ambil hak orang dah macam mana? sama2 seronok la.

ye long. lebih daripada educated pun ada. and then duk wonder apesal anak2 selalu sakit, anak2 jahat tak dgr cakap, anak2 tak bleh diajar. well, kau bagi diorang makan apa?

farahin said...

kak nani, this is a random comment (not related to this post but somehow, i want to write it 'cause now i have the guts to do so).
i hope i wasn't mistaken recognizing you kat pertandingan debat mrsm semalaysia in mrsm parit. the moment i saw your name on the list, i screamed (literally). i was very sure it's you and bila sampai kat mrsm parit, i saw you - in the crowd, right in front of my eyes. but my feet were cemented on the ground. i was frozen instantly. tiba2 rasa cuak hahaha i just wanted to say hi and see you in person. tapi tak tahu lah kenapa. i let go the chance. now i regret *sigh*

Nani Othman said...

farahin,
wow hello. i haven't reacted to this comment yet because i don't know how to but yes i was in parit for the debate so i have a few questions lol.

1. why did you scream when you saw my name on the list lol?
2. how did you recognize me?
3. why were your feet cemented and why were you frozen?
4. what have i been missing? because from your comment i understand that you somehow know me and we have never yet met - you wanna shed some light on it?

And thanks for commenting. I hope to get a reply from you soon. =)

farahin said...

hello again kak nani,
ok. so, here are my answers to your questions (my bad - i should have introduced myself first)

1. hahaha because it's a very rare moment for me to meet any blogger in real life. so, seeing your name on the list memang buat jantung tersentak lalu terus menjerit

2. blog-hopping. i couldn't remember which blog i jumped into and finally landed on yours

3. because if i walk to you, how should i greet you? or, say hi? should i start with "is this kak nani from naniscribbles?", what would you react? or, how should i react after that?
too many questions in my head and of all i know, i was cemented and frozen LOL

4. you did leave me a comment on my blog, last year.
it's me, kak nani - bawangmerahsquared. the one whom you pray, to be walking out of depression :)

Nani Othman said...

hello back, farahin,
i can't remember which post i wrote that specific comment on - can you link me to it? but i googled bawangmerahsquared and found out that you follow me on twitter too. =) which is fine. great, even. so yeah, let me answer your question. you could have just said hi. or anything. i'd be glad to talk to you. now that i know that we're in the same system, it should be less awkward if you were to say hi. or i could be saying hi to you first one of these days, who knows? haha.

just curious though - i have never put my pictures up my blog, how did you know that the person you saw at the debate competition was me?

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