July 10, 2011

Take good care of your heart.


The first thing about Asmahani Asmat - my best friend in the whole wide world - is that she gives crazy good advice. Any given time for any situation. Most of the times she sounds like she's a hundred years old. The second thing about her is that she's my best friend and I consider myself very lucky to have her around. We might not talk everyday, but if there's anything I can say about our bond - it's permanent and it's ordinarily unbreakable. We're the best of friends. Like the best friends of the world.

I get to be my craziest self when I'm with her without worrying of being judged. I get to talk immense nonsense without having to hide anything. I get to love her all I want without caring if she loves me the same way. I can stop making sense and she would never question my sanity. I get to say stuff I don't dare to say to others (yes, readers, there ARE people I can't just say things to, happy?). And probably the best thing about being with her is that I don't have to behave myself at all. Yeah. I don't have to fulfill anyone's expectations. I get to be selfishly me. Which is something I rarely get to be these days.

I practically trust her with everything, including some secrets I usually share only with my sister. Right. Earlier today, I did spill something right into her lap because I could no longer take the stress. So the third thing about Asmahani is that she doesn't have to say much about anything to make me see sense, even when I hadn't actually spilled every last drop of my problems. I could say she saw right through me. Right through everything I said and told me something no one ever had the nerve to -

Take good care of your heart.

That was all it took and everything just falls into place. Maybe I'd been way off the track by letting my heart make all the decisions that are - amazingly I must say - stupid beyond my massive abilities to comprehend stupidity. And that's like despite the fact that I'm a considerably smart person, almost as smart as my overachieving mother. So I guess telling people to use their brains before acting is so much easier than actually doing it. I wasn't using my brain. That much insanity is not forgiveable, I know. I almost got myself into trouble for letting my heart do most of the thinking.

Take good care of your heart.

The moment I read that was the moment I realized how much I'd been missing her all this time. I miss her wisdom. I miss feeling young and clueless around her. I miss having her say one simple thing and clear up one whole mess. I miss having her save my retarded ass everytime I jump off a hypothetical bridge. I miss having a best friend so close to me I could just walk straight into hell because I know she'd bring me back. Because she always did. And she always will.

She made me realize something else, too. You don't just stop loving a person. You either never did. Or you always will. And that's something you don't learn from just anyone.

For nearly a month, I was lost. I couldn't find a way out of the mess I didn't start. I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't know what to do. Then Hani happened all over again. And my wings are no longer broken. I'm soaring right now. Just the way I used to be.

For this, I have only God to thank. Alhamdulillah for the person named Asmahani Asmat. I love you to pieces, best friend. I hope we'll last forever.

11 scribbleback (s):

Nur Yana said...

Amin..
Tak nak sedih2 lagi.
Great to have a really good friend kan.. Happy for u
(^___^)

Nani Othman said...

nur yana,
thanks. =) come again.

Sonnet said...

bestnya dapat kawan yang sangat baik kan?

saya pun ada dorm-mates yang sangat baik dan kami macam keluarga. saya anak perempuan sorang so selain dari cousin rapat saya (saya selalu anggap dia macam kakak sendiri), saya ada kawan-kawan yang sangat memahami dan dari mereka saya belajar banyak perkara.

tak tahu macam mana perasaan bila habis sekolah nanti. kami cuma ada 4 bulan lagi untuk bersama :(

Anonymous said...

sonnet mcik umo 30 perasan bdak skola. bleargh. geli.

Anonymous said...

sonnet penipu yg suka hidup dlm khayalan. umo 27 tapi mengaku budak skola. mcm org taktau die sape. ei. geli.

Mi Tom Yam said...

anon July 10,
habis tu apa masalah kat kau? sekejap kau kata 30, sekejap kau kata 27. Kau ni tak ada kehidupan ke? Get a life please.

to nani sayang,
semoga hati awak cepat sembuh. pilih jalan hidup yang memberi senang dan tenang kepada hati awak.

:DiDa: said...

Thank You! i'll call my besties rightnow..^^

Anonymous said...

nani, kau tgk blog betwrites (ade link kt blog sonnet pelik ni) tu ade minah sonnet gila ni komen pasal die study literature si tanggang tu ten years ago. ten years ago means dia umo 17. now dia 27 la kalau ikut logik. die menyamar je jadik budak skolah aku taktau ape motif die. tapi kau jage2 la. mungkin die ni ade sakit mental. dan lagi satu aku nak bgtau kat kau sonnet, 30 tu aku genapkan je umo kau. sudah2 la menipu. peace.

Kiah Anggun said...

Nani..

"You don't just stop loving a person. You either never did. Or you always will."

*nods* now maybe u can understand why i'm like this now? Haha. Berserah pada Allah je Nani. Allah takkan zalim pada hambaNya.

Nani Othman said...

sonnet,
memang best. hehe. ambiklah contact number and everything. lepas habis skolah nnt boleh contact lagi..

dida,
sure. haha. call 'em!

anon,
dah tgk dah komen die kat blog tu.. entah. taktau ape nak komen. semua orang kat internet pun suspicious skrg ni.

kiah anggun,
kak kiah, thanks. haha. memang nani berserah pun. skrg macam dah ok sikit. otak macam tersort out secara tiba2. XD

Anonymous said...

mi tom yam emo bodoh = sonnet.

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