I was unstoppable.

Back then when I was in high school, I could finish three to four Christopher Pike novels in a day. I was unstoppable. Right now, I actually have to steal some time to read just to maintain my sanity. I wish I could have more reading time. What I have now is not enough. 

There's already a long queue of titles that I need to finish before the year ends so I could start a new list next year. That, people, has never happened before. I had always bought new books because I have nothing else to read. 

I really need more time to hog the books. Or I'll crack.

What have you guys been reading lately? Share with me!

...being ordinary?

'I biase biase je.'

Aku sikit pun tak percaya yang Tuhan pernah mencipta seorang manusia yang biasa. Aku rasa being ordinary tu equals to being bukan manusia. Please lah. Thankful lah sikit Tuhan beri pada engkau akal. That particular thing diberi percuma kepada engkau sudah lebih dari cukup jadi bukti bahawa tidak ada manusia yang ordinary. Pft.

p/s: Kawan aku percaya yang sepasang kasut cantik can be trusted untuk bawa kita ke tempat yang cantik. Aku rasa dia banyak berangan.

Take good care of your heart.

The first thing about Asmahani Asmat - my best friend in the whole wide world - is that she gives crazy good advice. Any given time for any situation. Most of the times she sounds like she's a hundred years old. The second thing about her is that she's my best friend and I consider myself very lucky to have her around. We might not talk everyday, but if there's anything I can say about our bond - it's permanent and it's ordinarily unbreakable. We're the best of friends. Like the best friends of the world.

I get to be my craziest self when I'm with her without worrying of being judged. I get to talk immense nonsense without having to hide anything. I get to love her all I want without caring if she loves me the same way. I can stop making sense and she would never question my sanity. I get to say stuff I don't dare to say to others (yes, readers, there ARE people I can't just say things to, happy?). And probably the best thing about being with her is that I don't have to behave myself at all. Yeah. I don't have to fulfill anyone's expectations. I get to be selfishly me. Which is something I rarely get to be these days.

I practically trust her with everything, including some secrets I usually share only with my sister. Right. Earlier today, I did spill something right into her lap because I could no longer take the stress. So the third thing about Asmahani is that she doesn't have to say much about anything to make me see sense, even when I hadn't actually spilled every last drop of my problems. I could say she saw right through me. Right through everything I said and told me something no one ever had the nerve to -

Take good care of your heart.

That was all it took and everything just falls into place. Maybe I'd been way off the track by letting my heart make all the decisions that are - amazingly I must say - stupid beyond my massive abilities to comprehend stupidity. And that's like despite the fact that I'm a considerably smart person, almost as smart as my overachieving mother. So I guess telling people to use their brains before acting is so much easier than actually doing it. I wasn't using my brain. That much insanity is not forgiveable, I know. I almost got myself into trouble for letting my heart do most of the thinking.

Take good care of your heart.

The moment I read that was the moment I realized how much I'd been missing her all this time. I miss her wisdom. I miss feeling young and clueless around her. I miss having her say one simple thing and clear up one whole mess. I miss having her save my retarded ass everytime I jump off a hypothetical bridge. I miss having a best friend so close to me I could just walk straight into hell because I know she'd bring me back. Because she always did. And she always will.

She made me realize something else, too. You don't just stop loving a person. You either never did. Or you always will. And that's something you don't learn from just anyone.

For nearly a month, I was lost. I couldn't find a way out of the mess I didn't start. I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't know what to do. Then Hani happened all over again. And my wings are no longer broken. I'm soaring right now. Just the way I used to be.

For this, I have only God to thank. Alhamdulillah for the person named Asmahani Asmat. I love you to pieces, best friend. I hope we'll last forever.