April 7, 2012

Sebab unless you are God -



Cikgu dengan pendidik. Kadang-kadang dua perkataan ni macam sama makna. Most of the times, tak. Kerapkali orang samakan dua perkataan ni, intentionally. Tapi most of the times sebenarnya sebab mereka tak tahu beza. Bagi aku senang saja. Bukan semua cikgu itu pendidik. Bukan semua pendidik itu cikgu. Tapi cikgu ada dua jenis yang utama - yang layak dihormati dan yang tak perlu dihormati. Pendidik - wajib dihormati. Ini aku dan cara aku melihat dunia. Radikal? Semua orang ada persepsi. Engkau pun.

Besar sebenarnya makna pendidik. Hampir sebesar makna 'Ibu'. Hampir. Dan aku mahu jadi pendidik. Aku sedang cuba berperangai seperti pendidik, berfikir seperti pendidik, bekerja seperti pendidik dan menyayangi seperti pendidik. Mendidik seperti pendidik - aku yakin aku boleh. Sebab aku pakai kasut pelajar-pelajar aku 18 jam sehari. 6 jam lagi aku tidur. Betul. Sebab tu aku cool. Engkau cool?

Anyway. Aunty Zuraidah. Emak ex-student aku - Salleh. Aunty kata, 'Your mum memanglah, semangat cikgu dia memang lain. Hidup mati dia memang dengan budak.' Yang itu aku dah lama perasan. Sebab itu aku pun macam tu. Dan menjadi serupa itu buat aku proud dengan diri sendiri. Dengan mak aku.

3 tahun mengajar, aku bangga mengaku yang aku tidak pernah menyalahkan budak bila-bila pun yang mereka tak memenuhi expectation - akademik atau sahsiah. Nama pun budak sekolah. Kalau dah semua benda mereka boleh fikir, mereka tak perlu datang sekolah. Kalau semua benda yang baik mereka tahu buat, baik mereka yang jadi cikgu.

Expectation aku tinggi. Macam Cinderella nak kawen anak raja. 'Dapat E ni trial je, Affiq. Kita pulun untuk SPM. Teacher tolong. Allah SWT mesti tolong.' Result SPM keluar hari tu, Affiq dapat A. Sumpah. Maka aku masih memandang rendah pada blogger teachers yang pernah view aku sebagai over-ambitious, unrealistic, and lucky (sebab mengajar di MRSM). Aku bukan menyombong - tu result Affiq, bukan result aku (result aku lagi best, OK?). Tapi aku membangga diri sebab aku jadi pendidik bila aku tak putus asa dengan pelajar-pelajar aku walaupun mereka sendiri dah tak tahu macam mana nak berharap. Aku jadi pendidik bila aku tak terima yang some students are meant to fail - unlike some blogger teachers. Aku jadi pendidik bila aku tak view pelajar-pelajar aku sebagai lemah, tapi sebagai amanah. Aku jadi pendidik bila aku degil beyond reason tak mahu jadi bangsat yang suka keluarkan statement, 'Asalkan lulus cukuplah.' Sebab aku jadi pendidik bila aku percaya yang SEMUA ORANG BERHAK DAPAT KEJAYAAN.

Pada students yang cikgu-cikgu mereka selalu merengek macam ini, 'Students aku lemah wei. Ni memang hakikat. Realistik kalau aku tak harap diorang dapat A. Janji lulus,' aku memang kesian la. Sebab aku tak tau why the hell is it so UNREALISTIC FOR EVERYONE to be SUCCESSFUL? Aku tak boleh comprehend that level of mental retardation. Serius.

Jadi aku akan live with this,

Budak-budak sentiasa betul. It's how the world works. I've been in school myself. Once as one of them. Now as one of us (teachers). If they're not achieving what they should, it's our fault. If they're not behaving the way they should, it's our fault. Sebab unless you are God, they are at the receiving end and we aren't delivering enough - you can never change that fact. Never. So yes, kids are always right. And that's exactly the insane belief that's been keeping me sane as a teacher. It's what keeping me going. 

Pada engkau mungkin statement aku gila. Mungkin aku memang gila sebab buat pernyataan serupa itu. But then again, all the best people are. Dan itu orang macam engkau memang takkan dapat rasa.

13 scribbleback (s):

avid said...

when human perfects time machine, i'm gonna have you transferred to taiping and my class 04'. usually i got the impression that i did well by scoring 65% and wrote a badly memorized literature analysis of The Pearl from my english teacher.

♛ LORD ZARA 札拉 ♛ said...

Orang yang tak faham dengan kerjaya macam kita - yang berusaha untuk menjadi pendidik dan bukan sekadar guru dan melihat manusia yang melihat kerjaya mereka dari sisi wang yang diterima sahaja memang tak akan mengerti dan sering membobok bila apa yang mereka hajatkan tidak tercapai.

Aku ada junior yang menolak untuk menajar sekolah harian biasa, dan hanya memburu ke SBP atau MRSM sebab dia kata - "Saya tak boleh mengajar budak yang tak pandai".

Huh!
Bukankah learning takes place when there's a change in behavior?

nur aqilah said...

terima kasih cikgu:)
your awesomeness lvl-infinity

Nani Othman said...

avid,
you're being too kind. but yeah. i'd love to go there in 2004. =) wonder what it'll be like. hehe.

Lisa Grint said...

Cried a bit reading this. I miss my high school teachers.

cafiena said...

semalam jumpa kata-kata ni:

"it is easier to build a child than it is to repair an adult- choose your word wisely"

i am sometime referred as 'trouble' or 'difficult' student. i dont like homework, i talk a lot, and worst, when i talk, other student start to get interest in my story than teacher in front. i have been move around the class so many time so i learn to 'shut up' when i get new desk partner, and i never did.

teacher like you get me where i am today. instead of scolding and punishing me for my behaviour, they learn to channel it and bring it to the best i can be. instead of giving up, they work harder, squeeze out every possible method just so i learn and be a better person.

thank you teacher.

thank you for educating them.

thank you for holding on to your belief.

and i apologize for my english.

Syarafina Sabri said...

You inspire me to be a great "pendidik". Thanks :)

Terra Shield said...

Glad to know you're one of those teachers who does her best. Kudos.

Kin-youbi Hime said...

lebiu la nani..to all "PENDIDIK"..chaiyo'2..

Nani Othman said...

zara,
haha. ramai org mcm tu. ckp mcm tau sangat kerja cikgu. padahal tak pernah pun jadi cikgu. benci org yg suka bercakap ttg bena yg mereka have no knowledge of whatsoever. annoying.

aha. about your junior..can't find the words to say. i chose to not apply for posting sebab i dont wanna teach in kementerian schools. one of my reasons was, since MARA had funded all the expenses of my studies, it is appropriate that i repay the kindness by offering my service to her. =) so yeah. i'm here in mrsm beseri now.

and true. learning takes place when there's a change in behaviour. but it doesn't really happen if your behaviour changes but your mind doesnt.


aqilah,
you're welcome. i know. XD haha!

Nani Othman said...

lisa grint,
awww. =) go and visit them when you're free then!

syarafina,
hey, that's one cool comment. you inspire to become a great pendidik too, with that comment!

terra,
glad to know you're one of them who still believe in the spirit of teaching. =)

Nani Othman said...

cik nur,
haha. lebiu balik!

Nani Othman said...

cafiena,
your comment masuk spambox, taktau apesal. hehe. nasib baik check. anyway, it's true. easier to build something from nothing that to repair a damaged something. happens everywhere. i had ADHD too when i was in skool. attention span was and is very short..but i didnt reach out for any teacher for help. i wanted to do my own thing..so i did my own thing. so here i am, happy doing my own thing. =) you're welcome. i am still learning.

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